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Man Not Himself Until He Has So Much Coffee He Feels Like He’s Going To Die | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

VINELAND, NJ—Saying that he doesn’t function properly unless he’s completely jittery and suffering from nausea, local claims adjuster Spencer Howell told reporters Monday that he’s not his normal self until he has too many cups of ...

Which reminds me, I drink too much coffee!